Official Cat Update

In case you were wondering whether or not Jurvis and I still have a kitten: yes. Yes we do. Or rather, we have a massive wild lynx that eats, behaves and snuggles like a kitten, and we’re assuming it’s the same creature we brought into our home two months ago.

Jack goes on a tear every night between eleven and one in the morning, playing parkour with the furniture and curtains. His favorite thing to do is “the running slide”: this mostly occurs on the wood floors between rugs, but has also been known to happen on the coffee table (he gets a head start from the kitchen) — resulting in laptops, beverages, papers exploding in all directions. His pet peeve is objects resting on surfaces, and also, his own tail. He will chase it for much longer than is generally considered dignified, mewing like a banshee. Our lower neighbor’s pet peeve is all of the above habits: almost every night our floor thunders with his pounding.

I’ve never met him, but twice I’ve dreamed of going downstairs and knocking on his door to apologize.

Continue Reading

Heroes

There isn’t much that I wouldn’t do for a bicycle.

They pass me every day on my walk to work: a whir and the click of switched gears, a breeze across my face and suddenly they are in front of me, churning pedals and disappearing over the hill. Sometimes they’re girls in skirts and leggings, frizzy curls and mint Burt’s Bees chapstick. Sometimes they’re middle-aged men, with sleek neon yellow helmets and black spandex. Sometimes they’re gangsters in over-sized jerseys and undersized bikes, their bodies swaying over the seat to make up for lost momentum. But usually, they’re ninjas.

The ninjas are the ones I envy. There is no way to discern the gender of a ninja: their clothing, while usually thin and tight, is layered like a fine tiramisu, beiges, whites and chocolates peeking above a tattered belt, which is itself beneath a backpack, which is itself covered in buttons and patches for various worthy causes (and the green grass grew all around and around, and the green grass grew all around). They bike effortlessly no matter the terrain, and their calves bulge.

“What the hell do you do for a living?” I want to ask them as they fly by in a swirl of autumn leaves. “How can I be like you? Also, is it true that you never sweat?”

But they’re gone before my mouth can even open, and I struggle to loosen my scarf in the wind, remove my coat which is always too warm after the first twenty minutes of walking, and wind up tangled in a mess of headphones and handbags at the bottom of the hill.

Continue Reading

Family Reunion!

When I was little I would sit on the toilet and wonder if ghosts were watching me. Hovering near the mirror, standing in the tub, poking their heads out of the closets — my eyes would scan our black and white tiled bathroom, convinced I was not alone.

This isn’t to say I was terrified in the traditional scary ghosts sense: for some reason I assumed the dead were mostly benevolent, nonthreatening presences (and not scary like, say, witches, which roamed the shadows of my bedroom wall). What I took issue with was their potential invasion of my privacy. I had, after all, just become aware of nakedness and modesty, and it had only recently occurred to me to close the door when I used the bathroom. The thought of that being ignored appalled me. Grandpa could be in here, I thought to myself, and I wouldn’t even know.

Continue Reading

Adrianne is Surprised

Here’s a fun way to find out that your high school sweetheart got married last weekend: through the Facebook status update of his little sister. “Hey, she’s a sister-in-law now, eh? Well that’s exciting for her. Oh, wait a minute . . .”

Continue Reading

The First Fifty-Degree Day

The day began cloudy, and the high was fifty-four degrees. I opened all the windows in our apartment and threw on long underwear and a sweater.

October is Tea Time
October I love you.

Small pleasures: previously-owned clothing (one dollar), the colors navy and orange near one another, and a china set that is far too nice for my income bracket (thanks mom).

Continue Reading