How To Be a Fly on the Wall

For my main documentary project here at Salt, I’ve been following a small group of gaming teenagers. They play Yu-Gi-Oh! at the store I was covering with another project, and I just kept finding myself drawn into their back room, delighted with the kinds of pictures I could take with them. They were always hugging each other, sitting on each other’s laps, playing with each other’s hair. Their cards were decorated with holograms and they spoke of summoning monsters, scorpion girls, corridors of pain. They had braces, crazy shoelaces, they loved pineapple calzones and Nickelback. They were so . . . teenagery! Man, remember being a teenager?

“Hey, you guys mind if I do a whole project just on you?” I asked one day.

“Sure!”

They taught me how to play their game. I’d follow them to the convenience store, the playground, alongside highways and railroad tracks. We’d leave two of them alone to make out by the lake while we constructed boats for insects and then threw rocks at the boats and then sunk the boats. I followed a few of them around their high school classes (learned about: rugged individualism, the Hoover Dam, John Malkovich starring in Of Mice and Men, whaaaat), and then realized getting some bus shots would be good too.

6:50am, yesterday morning: on it. The din of adolescence slowly quieted in the background as I whipped out paperwork. “Hi there. Adrianne Mathiowetz. Student at the Salt Institute of Documentary Studies. I’m doing a photo project with those two. Here’s the release form from their parents, I’ve also spoken to the high school and received consent, I won’t take pictures including anyone not listed on the form, nice to meet you.” I smiled at the busdriver winningly and followed the twins to the back, our journey dutifully noted by sets of suddenly curious Maine blue eyes.

“Mind if I sit here?” I asked some kid.

“Excuse me . . . Miss?” the busdriver called back to me. “Come up here. I’m going to need to see that paperwork again.”

“Ooooooooo!” the riders crescendoed.

I stood up, jostled awkardly to the front.”Oh, uh . . . of course. Here it is.”

“And how do you pronounced your name?”

“Math – oh – wets.”

The busdriver breathed into her radio. “She says her name is Adrianne Mathiowetz? Have you heard anything about this?”

Static responded, vaguely in the negative.

“Yeah –” a boy quipped from his green pleather seat, “no more homeless people riding the bus!” The riders erupted into howls and giggles.

“Ha ha, homeless!”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you ride this bus,” the driver said. “I’m not allowed to transport anyone who isn’t a student.”

“Really? But . . . I got permission from the school. I spoke with Principal [X].”

“We’re really very strict about it. It doesn’t matter if you got permission from the school, you can’t ride this bus. You’re going to need to leave now.”

“Ooooooo!”

Lord, school bus kids. I turned and looked at one of my subjects, who was gazing back at me hopelessly. I gave her a half-hearted salute as I stepped off the bus. It disappeared down the hill in a cloud of road dust and pollen.

* * *

“Hi there, just signing in,” I said at the front desk. “Can I just grab the visitor pass again?”

“Oh, Adrianne? Could you actually come back here please? It seems there’s been a misunderstanding. The principal will meet with you in his office.”

“Ah, Christ,” I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

No more getting on the bus. Are we clear on this, Ms. Mathiowetz? Are we clear? Yes, we’re clear. Are we clear? Okay.

I defeatedly shuffled my gear into the foyer, and found a bench. I pulled out a book to read. Fifty minutes until the next bell rang; then I could get back to business. Business! To at least feign professionalism, respectability! A cop walked by.

“Excuse me, miss? Shouldn’t you be in class?”

The bell rang.

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Life Lesson #6

Something that became unexpectedly important was where I slept afterwards. A hotel room (smoking) with its paneled elevator, 3am, on the phone with my parents. A day spent in a friend’s studio apartment while she went to the craft mart: I gasped numbly into my fists. The spare room in another apartment during those weeks before the new roommate moved in: we would drag a futon mattress up a flight of stairs and I would curl up here at night in the big empty room under the big open window under the big leafy trees, wrapped in a new down blanket from mom and slipping DVDs of Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2 into my laptop. I had my own key and bought it a ridiculous duck keychain; every so often the button would get stuck and it would quack insistently in my purse until hit.

When her new roommate arrived, I moved to a storage room, which just fit the air mattress I slept on and a framed print of Clint Eastwood pushed against the wall; she and I would make sandwiches from the farmers’ market and I’d remove part of my finger with the bread knife (still numb). When that friend’s husband returned from his travels, I crashed on a couch of our mutual friends. They pinned up a blanket for me to use as a door, and at night I would sneak out for the sake of sneaking out, wandering along the bike trail and listening to the same song on repeat like a teenager.

Break-up lesson #6: sometimes, the wonderful world will catch you.

There was a period of my life during which I watched either Wayne’s World or Wayne’s World 2 every single night, I could say later. I wasn’t happy or sad in the days directly after you. I was just passing time. Iced coffees.  Self-help books. Is it strange to say I miss it.

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Obamarama

Last week, Obama came to Portland to speak on healthcare reform (although according to friends who got in, it was more of a brief, comedic act, which at some point caused him to take off his jacket and give all the ladies present heart palpitations). I thought I’d go hang out in the protest for a while, where they were “letting freedom ring” with brass bells.

At one point the protestors expressed their disgust with our president’s arrival by singing the national anthem. The supporters on the other side of the street countered, by also singing the national anthem. It was nearly beautiful.

But it got me thinking: is documenting the crazies the responsible thing to do? Do I want the story to be, “Obama comes to Portland, these people think he’s an undocumented terrorist commie”? Misinformed insanity has a strong enough voice as it is, without my exploitative attempts.

Also, while it was thrilling to be part of a protest I didn’t agree with, it was also kind of a huge bummer. I thought of the Bush protests I’d gone to, and wondered if I’d depressed any of his passing fans. “So much negativity! Can’t you just be nice to our president for once? He’s trying!” I crawled back to the smiling supporters.

A few more from both sides — for better or worse — here.

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Postcards From Midnight Vultures

A month or so ago, Black Cat Burlesque teamed up with Big Moves teamed up with a bunch of awesome solo performers to create an entire show around Beck’s “Midnight Vultures” album. It was one night only, and conveniently, I just happened to be in town.

“Oh man!” I said. “I’m going to bring my camera, and take pictures, all throughout the show without a single flash, because I’ve got that shit handled, now!”

We met up with some friends who’d grabbed a front table, and as the lights dimmed and I unpacked my gear, a familiar voice sung out from the speakers: thank you for coming to the show, and remember, absolutely, positively, no pictures. I pointed my lens toward the stage and took a test shot to check my levels. The stage manager came flying from the shadows. “Excuse me, but you can’t — oh, Lacy! Never mind. Hey, welcome back!”

It was then that I realized: I have, what we in documentary school call and covet, “access.”

And I also have, what we in documentary school call and abhor, “bias”: because I love these people with all my heart, have kissed some of them at parties, and these photos are meant to contain a message: this is beautiful, hilarious, important.

Full album: here.

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How To Get a Lap Dance

The most surprising thing about the strip club was how similar it was to any other club. The music was loud. It was difficult to talk. The women were dancing and the men just sat there. The women were smiling and the men just sat there.

“Seriously?” I cried. “That guy is getting danced all over by that gorgeous near-naked woman, and he looks like he’s in some angry coma? What’s his deal? That doesn’t even seem polite. There are boobs in your face! Smile about it!”

“I think it’s a power thing for the guys,” Macon said.

“Yeah, this isn’t like burlesque, Adrianne.”

“Well I’m going to look interested,” I declared. “Because I am. Those people are naked, and they are doing crazy things with their butts.”

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