As penned by myself, two hours to midnight and after three glasses of champagne: 1. Go to yoga at least twice a week! 2. Eat more fruit! Eat more vegetables! Make more smoothies! 3. Treat your Seasonal Affective Disorder with liberal doses of electric tanning beds! 4. Go camping in the springtime! 5. Floss. What [...]
Here’s a fun way to find out that your high school sweetheart got married last weekend: through the Facebook status update of his little sister. “Hey, she’s a sister-in-law now, eh? Well that’s exciting for her. Oh, wait a minute . . .”
The day began cloudy, and the high was fifty-four degrees. I opened all the windows in our apartment and threw on long underwear and a sweater. October I love you. Small pleasures: previously-owned clothing (one dollar), the colors navy and orange near one another, and a china set that is far too nice for my [...]
In the dream my boyfriend was trying to murder me, and as I stood poised by the slowly-opening door with a shard of glass in my hand, I realized that the entire thing could be forgotten if I would just wake up. “Wake up,” I repeated in the dream. “Adrianne, you’re dreaming, wake up.” I [...]
It’s funny how homesickness is something you come to expect forever after a while. The tangible, inhabitable home evaporates and transforms into its poltergeist, capable only of eerie sounds, sensations of cold, and moving objects around the room while you’re not looking. It’s not something you can touch, let alone return to. You’ve been forced [...]