The most surprising thing about the strip club was how similar it was to any other club. The music was loud. It was difficult to talk. The women were dancing and the men just sat there. The women were smiling and the men just sat there.
“Seriously?” I cried. “That guy is getting danced all over [...]
Peer: Whoa. I’m sorry, how old did you say you were?
Adrianne: Oh, just that I’m about to turn 27.
Peer: Oh my God!
Adrianne: Uhhh . . . so, how old are you?
Peer: I’m 19.
I am officially of the age that causes 19-year-olds to say “oh my God.”
I put my head in my [...]
After we went to his parents’ Thanksgiving (truffle oil and roasted garlic mashed potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, life-well-spent turkey, chocolate bourban pecan pie, chestnut stuffing) we went to my friend Jourdan’s potluck Friendsgiving (three different kinds of cranberry sauce/relish alone), and around 9pm we reluctantly stood to leave her warm, sweet-spiced kitchen for some far [...]
The afternoon after we fought, I thought I wouldn’t be able to do anything but watch stupid television. It’s a crappy coping technique I picked up recently, and we’ve even talked about it, how it doesn’t actually fix anything, or bode particularly well. But what else is there for the housebound, the mindstuck? I curl [...]
We were enjoying our billionth screening of Lost In Translation when I stuck my fork into a container of Drunken Udon noodles, hit a particularly succulent green bean and a two-out-of-three pepper rating shot directly into my right eyeball.
“Bwah!” I cried. “Bwah!”
“What?” Jurvis cried back. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Bwah!” I ran into our bathroom and stuck [...]