When I turned the corner into the bread aisle, a grandmotherly woman was leaning on her cart, examining that day’s baguettes. She turned around to see me reach for a loaf, and her hands went to her face. “Oh! Oh oh!” I looked up. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that your dress [...]
I’ve been fantasizing a lot lately about trailer parks. I think living alone in a trailer could actually be really beautiful: assuming you were in the middle of a prairie, and some of your friends lived in trailers around you, and every night there were bonfires, and you all played guitars and sang, and coyotes [...]
There have only been a few times in my life when I’ve been able to drop someone off or pick someone up at the airport. I don’t usually have access to a car, and that isn’t usually a problem: there have been shuttles, subways, cabs, other friends with cars. And maybe this is why it’s [...]
I have always hated dogs. Big dogs, small dogs, medium dogs, purebred dogs, mutt dogs, sad-eyed dogs, skinny dogs, nice dogs, new dogs. They’d jump and rake their dirty claws down my legs, they’d jam wet noses into my crotch, they would sit there and smell like an STD, and then they would look at [...]
In case you were wondering how my wall of mirrors is going, it’s splendidly. So far, all of these guys have run me about 70 bucks total, because I am king. Not enough! Not enough! (Larger) “Adrianne you ho, those mirrors are facing your bed.” Right. Do you know how creepy it is to watch [...]