Inanimate Objects

Sometimes I think I need a cat. Or a dog. Or a roommate that’s around more than fifteen minutes a week.

“I just ordered a humidifier!” I instant-exclaimed to my long-distance boyfriend. “It is in the shape of a penguin! What’s its name?”

“Sterling arrived in the mail today!” I updated Janaka over the phone. “Let me read you the itemized selling points on his box, they’re great. I also took some pictures of him for my blog. Uh. I . . . take pictures . . . of my humidifier . . . for my website . . . ”

“Yeah!” he said. “COOL LIFE.”

“Cool life!”

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  1. I’m going to urge you to read the directions on this one, especially the part where it says NOT to submerge this in water, less this penguin humidifier meet the same fate as you last one.

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