Making Headway

“Oh hey, I found out some good news on the internet today,” I said.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“So for the past two years I’ve had this clicking sensation come and go in my sinuses, kind of near the bridge of my nose. It’s this vaguely annoying pressure and movement thing, and it clicks, and it just happens every so often, but it’s weird.”

“Uh huh.”

“And I’d read a story once about this woman who had a similar sensation maybe and it was a cockroach that had climbed up her nose and couldn’t get back out. So for the past two years whenever my nose clicked, I thought, ‘oh, it’s the cockroach that lives there now I guess.'”

” . . . uh huh.”

“But tonight I finally broke down and Googled it, and it turns out, it’s just allergies! And, the cure is using a Neti Pot.”

“Well. Yeah. That makes sense.”

“Sooo . . . aren’t you impressed? I’ve lived the past two years of my life assuming I had a cockroach living in my face, and I managed to not even Google it.

“I feel like,” he said, “that’s actually insane. To even assume that.” He paused. “Like . . . certifiably.”

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