Kansas City Bar, 3am

“Don’t do this,” he told me. “You’ll regret it. Why chickens? Honestly that’s the worst animal you could have chosen.”

“Really? But they’re like, small and stuff.”

“They’re the worst things to kill and dress. It’s disgusting. They bleed and bleed and bleed. You chop off their heads, you watch them bleed it all out, and then you pull out their intestines. Don’t do it.”

“We pull out their intestines?” I wobbled a bit in my chair.

“Exactly. And that’s not even the worst part. Don’t do this.”

“What’s the worst part?”

He just shuddered.

“. . . I feel like I need to do it if I’m going to eat meat again.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t get why people say this.”

“People say this?”

“Look. It’s traumatizing. I’m worried about you. I think you’ll be traumatized. Just don’t do it. If you can back out now, back out.” I took a gulp of my beer. “Please,” he said. “Don’t do this.”

Image by Dennis.

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  1. Could be just what you need to savor and appreciate every bite of meat you eat from here on out of veggie land. And a truly unique experience that so many out there have never had.

  2. FYI: You don’t really eat any animal without pulling its intestines out first. I figured you knew what you were getting into or that someone else was taking over right after the head chopping part, otherwise I would have told you. Have fun!

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