How To Plan For The Next 14 Months

I have signed five Boston leases in my life, and each July I promise myself this September will be different.

We will start looking now. We will only sign for the perfect place. It will be a fun, well thought-out, reasonable process, with things like budget constraints, laundry access, kitchen size, bicycle storage and outdoor recreation figured into the equation. (Also, when we do move, we will be so on top of things! I’m talking crisp, new cardboard boxes, labeled on multiple sides! I’m talking trips to the Goodwill and considerate battery disposal!)

And somehow, every August is the same.

Riiiing! Ring Riiiinnnng!


“[Current/future] [Roommate]! It’s Adrianne. I just [found the place I think we’re looking for] [got a call from our land(lord)(lady)]. Are we in for a year? They want [us to sign today] [-ed us to sign two months ago].”


“So, yeah. Should I forge your signature, or what?”

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  1. I am NEVER moving again. I’ve converted the one bedroom lovenest I had with Annie in 2005 into a 3 bedroom JUST TO AVOID EVER PACKING AGAIN. But, mental notes I make when I visit my friends shitty apartments:
    1-How long does it take for the hot water to reach the shower head (Jackie waited about 15 minutes in 2006 in the LES).
    2-Does the buzzer actually buzz the door open (mine doesn’t, but I live street level–Alicia has to bring her key down 4 flights to let people in and they have to call from their precious cell phone minutes.
    3-Is it far from the subway you actually use (although, due to my own ignorance of the subway I used to take the wrong train for an hour instead of walking the same distance to a different train that took half an hour to get to work. Althought this gave me two hours of uninterrupted reading time every day and I was in heaven).

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