We were enjoying our billionth screening of Lost In Translation when I stuck my fork into a container of Drunken Udon noodles, hit a particularly succulent green bean and a two-out-of-three pepper rating shot directly into my right eyeball.
“Bwah!” I cried. “Bwah!”
“What?” Jurvis cried back. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Bwah!” I ran into our bathroom and stuck my head in the sink.
“Oh. Did some of that get into your eye or something?”
“Bwaaahh!” Gurgle gurgle. “Bwah!”
“Well,” I said a few minutes later, staggering into the living room, “it still feels like I have a spicy delicious optical nerve. But whatever, I’m sick of throwing water at my face. What’s the worst that could happen, right?”
“My uncle got pepper sauce into his eye and went blind,” Jurvis said.
We returned to the bathroom with a carton of milk, and in this fashion the meal was finished.