Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration I present Exhibit A: “what we chant at the beginning of yoga class every week” (as translated from the Sanskrit), or, “further evidence of my growing insanity”:
I bow to the lotus feet of the guru
who awakens insight into the happiness of pure Being
who is the refuge, the jungle physician
who eliminates the delusion caused by
the poisonous herb of samsara (conditioned existence).
I prostrate before the sage Patanjali
who has thousands of radiant, white heads
(in his form as the divine serpent, Anala)
and who has, as far as his arms, assumed the form of a man
holding a conch shell (divine sound), a wheel (discus of light,
representing infinite time) and a sword (discrimination).
Yeah! Time to do some push-ups and warrior one! Wait, what did we just say?