It was pouring black rain outside, and all the Anthropologie sales girls were going completely out of their minds. I was in the dressing room when it really started coming down: all thunder and violence, it was flooding the streets outside and making its way onto the second floor, beating holes into the roof.
“Omigod, omigod! Look at the sewers!”
“Ohhhhh. My. God. Are they totally overflowing?”
“They’re totally overflowing.”
I have a love-hate relationship with shopping. Mainly, I love acquiring pretty things, and I hate everybody and everything else in the store — shoppers and employees, loud club music, advertising tricks and suggested outfits. I’m hoping that this is an age thing, and as soon as I start shopping with adults I won’t be subject to overhearing the inane Los Angeles dialogue; but I’m not quite ready to wear blazers and matching loafers. No, unfortunately, for now these are my people.
“Liz, Liz, get over here!”
“Liz, come watch the rain with us!”
“It’s sooooo crazy. Can you believe this?” I was stuck in a dress at this point, flailing my arms around the tiny dressing closet. I tripped on the bench and landed in a pile of silk and modal.
“Ohmigod, what am I going to do? Guys! Guys I have to go to dinner tonight!”
“Look at those potholes! They’re full of water!”
“Omigod, look at that lady! That’s sooo dangerous.” There was a brief moment of heavenly silence. Then, “God, I’m glad she broke her back.”
What? I thought, stick stuck in that dress. The buttons had gotten caught in my hair.
“Liz, you have to see this! Come watch the rain, come watch the rain!” (Liz, I realized, had been the girl helping me into the dressing room. Clearly she was the only one working right now. She wasn’t responding to them, and I briefly respected her for it.)
“Ohmigod, Laura, it’s leaking into the storeroom! Should, like, somebody call the manager?”
“Somebody call the manager!”
“Somebody call the manager!” The pitch was raised an octave with each repeat.
“Liz! Liz! Liz, come on!”
Finally Liz spoke up. “Ohmigod!” she cried. “Don’t make me see that! I’m like, so afraid of rain!”